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Psychic First Aid
About Muriel Chen This is a short note of what we know about Muriel. It is far from complete, but we thought that the reader would like to have a least a little background information on the author of "Psychic First Aid". As she explains it, "Psychic First Aid" was first written "...when I was a full time counsellor and people would ring me on the phone and want first aid. One day when someone rang to ask me what I had told her a week ago so she could pass it on to a friend, I had forgotten it, so she suggested that I write everything I told others. So I did and it grew." Now retired as a teacher, flight instructor, full time counsellor and business owner, her interest still remains spiritual. She is well rooted in the philosophy and practical application of clearing methods and has continued to personally strive for a deeper understanding of life and living. Muriel continues to be active in the clearing field, and to "listen to others
and ask a question should it appear optimum to do so." Living in the natural bushlands of Tasmania among the
wombats, wallabies and echidna, see has come to understand and appreciate the concept that "we create our
own reality".
INTRODUCTION This is a book of psychic first aid. It allows you to handle a crisis yourself whilst waiting for professional healing or assistance.
THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND THIS BOOK The author has been an active student and practitioner in the field of metaphysics and spiritual improvement for over thirty years. She has developed certain attitudes and beliefs through this time that empower her current practice. We create or allow our reality. We create or allow all of it--the major events, crises and successes of life, all their consequences, even the tiniest details of daily existence. We do this through our conscious, subconscious and unconscious beliefs, thoughts and feelings, attitudes, choices and decisions. What we desire, imagine and expect manifests this consciousness. Learning to consciously choose and manifest, and thus creating all our reality knowingly, is one of the most essential purposes of human life. Throughout life we are programmed with beliefs which limit our ability to create the realities which we would choose. These beliefs persist until they are recognized and changed to bring about the experiences which we desire. The ability to assist others to find and change unwanted limiting beliefs is one of the professional skills of the practitioners listed at the back of the book. The ability to freely feel and experience the emotions which are part of living, is a necessary part of the healing process. Many of the following first aid suggestions stress strongly feeling the emotions, negative and positive. Many of the exercises are designed to allow the flow of emotions which are appropriate for healing and growth. HOW TO USE THIS BOOK A wide range of situations for which you may remedy with psychic first aid are in listed below in alphabetical order. If your exact problem is not listed, look for one that is similar. The handling steps for each listed situation can be used for other situations that are similar. At the end you will find a general process for handling any unwanted, limiting belief. As these unwanted beliefs are exactly the locks and bars that keep us in spirutual bondage, beings who have extensively and determinedly used this process, either solo, or assisted by a trusted associate, have attained remarkable states of spiritual clarity. You can always write to me to share your successes with these processes. If there are situations that are not mentioned and you would like them to be part of the next edition tell me. If you would like to write another book in the series contact me. Muriel 1996
If I am a baby and I depend upon my mother, this dependency is necessary for my survival. When I am adult the very young depend upon me for survival. People grow. They change. But you, the spiritual being, are outside of time. You are always ALL that you are and all that you ever were: You are the infant, the child, the adolescent, the adult. As an adult you may choose to relate to other adults. One of these relationships is a partnership to create and care for the young. Ideally, each adult is self-dependent. But sometimes adults set up dependencies. If the dependency becomes too FIXED one feels (as a child) that should ëthe parent' leave, they would die. People change at different rates and in different directions. We are here to grow and to learn and that means change occurs. Gradual change that is accepted by all those involved occurs without being noticed. Sudden, or hidden, or unacceptable changes HURT. When open communication has been absent for a long time one person may solve the problem of their own changes by leaving. Sudden change is similar to a sudden death. The feelings that one gets after one has been left hurt. There is the feeling of being lost and the feeling of being less than. There could also be anger or blame. [If so go to those sections now] The child within you feels the results of being left as death. It initially fights it and then grieves. The adult feels that life has ëholes' left in it. They have got used to many things that have become part of the ritual of existence such as setting 2 places on the table. Now only one is needed. They turn to ask an opinion and there is no one there. Someone who they expect to be there has gone. You may have been dependent on this person. You as an adult may be suffering from holes that need filling. [There are many other contributing factors which need to be healed but here we are doing FIRST aid.] As a dependent child you fear you are going to die! As an adult you can care for yourself but need to fill the holes that are left. You may not realize it now but there are millions of other beings to relate to. One person whom you felt dependent upon has changed position in space and time. [It may even be that they went to another dimension as in death] They still ARE! A communication line is broken.
What to do about the feelings. The hurt can be intense.
Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings are there. [Use the section on unwanted emotions.] The adult YOU realizes what the situation really is. The adult in you can, in quiet moments or in meditation, reach to the you that is the child and talk to that child. Ask the child to tell you what is happening and how it feels. LISTEN, UNDERSTAND then ACKNOWLEDGE. When the child has told it all, give comfort and reassurance that the adult that you are is here. That you will always be there for that child. Do this as often as the child needs it. The adult ëyou' feels the emptiness of the holes left in life. It is easy to just believe your pain was caused by the other's leaving but this irresponsibility prolongs the grieving. It is easier to see that the holes are there to be filled and complete your grieving in order to set about filling the holes.
Steps: Write down all the things that you will miss through this loss. Write all the things you loved in the other. Write all the things you resisted or disliked about the other. >From your viewpoint Write all that you did or said that you regret. >From the other persons viewpoint Write all that you feel that they did that they may regret. It is your own actions and your own thoughts that can cause your hurt. Forgive yourself if forgiveness is needed (do this as the adult).Forgiveness means to let go of the past. Look back in time and find all the little signs that might have shown you that the change which appeared so sudden was, in fact, coming. Find how and when you resisted changes or lack of changes in the other. Accept all this. Accept the change.
Create your new life. Search for those in need. Empower them, using your wisdom and knowledge, in order that they may help themselves. Give them your tenderness and understanding and support without any need to have anything in return. Isn't that what you would like for yourself? Whilst you give to others you will feel what it is that you are giving. AFRAID The worry about whether someone will find out something that you believe will discredit you in some way is very damaging to you. It is much less damaging if you know that your secret is known, or know that it isn't known. It is important that this worrying doubt be resolved in some way, in any way, as keeping it with you causes you to subtly destroy all your relationships. It will cause you to be critical of others, and to create distance between yourself and others in an irrational, automatic attempt to hide whatever it is that you feel cannot be revealed. The simplest way, (but perhaps not the easiest to find the courage for), is to be honest and apologize sincerely if it is something you are sorry for. Whatever unpleasantness that might arise from this revelation is now outside you, and can almost certainly be resolved relatively easily and objectively. Failing this direct approach, you could find out for sure whether they know or not. It is the uncertainty that is most damaging, so removing that is a valuable "first aid". Even if you are worried that should someone find out about you it would hurt the other, your concern may still be a worry about your being discredited. You are worried lest they know it was you who "did it" and caused the hurt. Handle this as above. You will need to find a little courage! If it is not possible to do the above find someone whom you trust and tell them EVERYTHING. It will help to use the "Critical" handling steps. ALIENATION Some people feel very much a part of their families and the society in which they live whilst others feel completely out of place. They feel that they must have been adopted or that they must have come from somewhere else even from another planet or another universe. They may be right. You have your own unique universe. You are here to have fun finding how other's have constructed their own universes. Each of those universe's is different from all others--unique! At some time in your life you will find people who feel to you like your true family. They are your spiritual family. They reflect you as you wish to be. You choose the family you come into whether the family involved is your biological family or not. You made this choice in order to experience what you are experiencing. You 'come from' your own universe.
Look at what you are experiencing. See what there is in the experience to help you learn about your own qualities and about the uniqueness of you. All the good things you can see in other people are reflections of your own good qualities. However, you also see the things in others that are not right. These reflect hidden parts of your universe that you prefer not to have. You choose to reflect what you admire in order to see your chosen qualities and you choose to reflect what you find unacceptable in order to resolve these things in your self.
Look to see if you are judging yourself as right and others as wrong. This judgment is what makes you feel alien to other people. This judgment is also what makes them feel alien to you.
Steps: 1. List all the judgments that you are making of a person you feel alien to. Take the first judgment. 3. Take full responsibility for what you caused at each of those times, and feel the feelings that you may have caused. Now, 5. Decide to change. 6. Repeat this for each judgment on your list--and you will feel closer to that person. When all alienation caused through judgment is released you will find it easier to decide exactly who you are. ANGER Anger is a natural, even a positive emotion for a human to feel. Feeling the emotion of anger stimulates a person to action, and that action is to survive by either fighting or fleeing. If you cannot fight or flee, you need to find another method of expressing this anger. It is important that the expression is appropriate, and many people have not yet learned the appropriate expression of anger. Anger expressed in an appropriate fashion does no harm--it may even strengthen a relationship--which is why it may be called "positive". Anger that is not expressed is said to be suppressed or repressed. Unexpressed anger may have various unwanted results. The chemistry of suppressed or repressed anger can lodge in the body and cause disease, or the energy of anger can build up and up and up until something triggers it. We all have witnessed someone exploding into rage over next to nothing. Suppression and repression of anger causes all of our problems with anger. If you are feeling fear in the presence of such outbursts from someone, know that you have attracted that person by means of your own repressed anger. You may have no idea that it is there. If you are with someone who has outbursts of anger it is almost certain that you do have suppressed and repressed anger Repressed anger in yourself attracts repressed anger in others.
1. Find a time when you felt that kind of fear. There will be some anger of your own under that fear which you did not express at that time. 2. Allow yourself to become aware of the anger that is under the fear. Do not think and reason it out--just let it come to you. Know that it is all right for you to feel angry. When the feeling which is anger is there with you, When the energy has come to a peak. . . 4a. Make sure all the anger is gone from you. If some remains, intensify it until you can let it go and then put it in a container. Next, Do not hurry. Take as long as you like. Enjoy the process, and enjoy the light. If you receive information about yourself which you do not want you tend to make it unconscious to get rid of it. When it is activated in any way at another time it can appear to belong to someone else. You see the something that you do not want but it appears outside your self. It appears in another person. This is what causes you to blame others. Blame is saying "I do not want this to be!" If someone is blaming you, realize that no matter what you have done or not done the blame is coming from the hidden consciousness of the person who is doing the blaming.
Steps: If you are blaming others, 2. Realize that the other person is reflecting your hidden consciousness to you just as a mirror reflects your physical image. What you are blaming them for is the part of you that you do not want. You have attempted to get rid of it by hiding it. This is why you are seeing it in others. If this were not so, you would not be finding anything in the other to blame them for. This realization will give you an understanding of why you blame and why other people blame you. The hidden judgments can be removed.
Take conscious control of the situation or help the other take conscious control of the situation if it is their injury that you are helping with Do this first 1. Put the body in exactly the same position as it was when it was hurt--e.g. if you bumped your leg on a piece of furniture, put the spot on your leg that was hurt back in touch with the spot on the furniture, but gently this time! (Turn off and cool down any stove, radiator, power tool etc. that was instrumental in causing the injury). 2. Take it away. 3. Repeat 1. and 2. many times (the pain may get a little worse before getting much less) The reduction of pain from this procedure is due to the following facts. We tend to withdraw our attention from an area of pain, which leaves the pain "stored away", prolonging it and causing future problems.
1. Touch with the finger, various spots around the wounded area, allowing each "touch" to be felt. (If you are doing this for someone else get them to close their eyes and to let you know when they feel your finger each time.) 2. Treat each side of the body. So if the left leg is injured, touch a spot on the right leg (and make sure it has been felt), and then touch the same spot on the left leg. Right leg, left leg, right leg, left leg, on so on, each time a different spot around the injury. 3. Gradually get closer to the injured area until you are touching it. If the skin is broken, or stitches are required, get the medical work done, or cover with a dressing as appropriate before touching the wound itself. 4. Continue touching around the area, to and from the area, until there is a marked improvement for the person. If the person is still obviously emotionally distressed, see "UNWANTED EMOTION" Don't try to stop. 2. Fill containers with it. See how many containers you can fill with it! As you proceed, 4. Intensify these feelings, and fill more containers. You won't run out of containers! There are as many imaginary containers as you need. Use your will to make sure you do intensify each set of feelings, and to make sure you put them all in the containers. When you have completed this, If you find that you are crying because of something you consider sad about someone else, fill them with white light until they are positively glowing, and do the same for yourself.
Conflict occurs when more than one person is determined to be the only one who is right AND is determined to believe that the other or others is or are wrong. Right and wrong can be different for each and every individual. In relation to some activities it has been found that the desired result can be obtained more easily, more quickly or otherwise more effectively by doing and or thinking in a particular way. Some call these particular ways "right" when actually, the "right" way is usually the most effective way. For example it is considered right to look both ways before crossing the street. It is just that it is usually safer to do so. When we agree for a long period of time that particular ways are "right" we sometimes forget that they are only methods which work that we have agreed upon.
Conflict is usually produced when someone asserts that there is only one way that is right.
Or it can resolved by It cannot ever be resolved by force, effort to force, or unwilling change of viewpoint or opinion. This section is to use if you find yourself being critical. (By "critical," I do not mean assessing something in order to choose, I mean find things wrong with another person or other persons.) If you find yourself being critical then the first thing to realize is, that whether or not the things you find wrong with the other person are there, or did actually happen, or not, the sense of wrongness comes from you. You are judging. When you think the critical thought or say the critical message to another you are defending yourself. You are defending yourself because you have done something that the other might consider is wrong and you are not sure whether or not that person has found out. It can be an unpleasant feeling of righteous anger or the impulse to beat someone to a pulp or the impulse to make the other person less by finding fault with them. Making them less seems to make what you did feel less important and so less wrong.
1. Write all the things that you have DONE to that person that they might consider are wrong. 2 . Write all that you have done to that person that you feel you must hide. 3. Write all that you have done that you or anyone else could consider is wrong. EVERYTHING! DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT IT IS. WRITE IT DOWN. NO ONE IS WATCHING
5. Did anyone else say or do anything that made you wonder whether or not they knew? 6. Find all those people that you feel may have nearly found out. Find out what was said or done that made you wonder if they knew or not. Write it all down. When you have done this and still feel a little unhappy about the person realize that a similar thing may have happened before so stay with the idea of having done things you would rather hide and that are not definitely found out and find an earlier similar time. Handle this time in the same way as the first. Keep finding earlier times and handling them until you feel much better and have no desire to be critical of the person or persons in question. Realize that the very same reactions are at work when someone else is being critical of you! There is a form of depression that you will need professional help with. If you have it you will not be looking in this book to help yourself. The most common causes of depression are long-term, suppressed anger or suppressed hurt. Although these are the cause of eighty percent of depression, the anger or hurt will long ago have been lost to the sight of the sufferer. Anger is a basic and natural human emotion, which can be healthily expressed through a simple process. (See ANGER ). If expressed inappropriately, it can obviously have harmful effects on relationships. If suppressed, it can seriously affect the body and it depress you. When you feel depressed, 2. Feel the depression as though you were there at that time, at the age you were then. 3. Ask who it is that you are angry with, (or by what or whom you were hurt.) The answer may be yourself. If it is anger, 5. Flow it into containers, turn it into white sparkling light and pour it into you. 6. Allow yourself to fully feel any hurt that arises. Really let it be there, let it build up and up until it is all there with you, intensely. 7. Flow it into containers, and treat as for anger above. If you cannot find anger or hurt, ask yourself whether there was an earlier time that you felt that same depression. Don't try to remember a time. Ask if it is there, and then wait patiently to see if it comes to you. It will if you just let it. Then proceed as above. Some depressions can reached a stage where professional assistance is required.
That which we imagine, desire and expect without reservation usually occurs. This can cause disappointments and suppressed or repressed anger. The other person has their own desires, and imagines and expects these to occur to suit them. This may produce a quite different result from that expected by the first person. It mostly does! That is why we communicate. We communicate to find the differences in others that make life richer and more interesting. We communicate to share our unique differences respecting and cherishing them as they are. We communicate to find out whether we are wanting sufficiently similar realities to include each other in a shared life.
To desire someone to come into your life and then get to know and accept them as they are is much more exciting. So if you find that some person in your life is not meeting your expectations maybe it is the expectations that need to be changed. When you say "I love you" love that person just as they are. Just as they are being, doing and having. Consciousness exists, whether it is focused through a physical body or not. Death is a cessation of physical experience. This may occur after a long, or a short life. The transition from life to death, as we normally describe those states, can be just as exciting and pleasurable as any other planned change through our conscious existence. There can be more pain and suffering in birth and in life than there is in death. The expectations of a being (person) determine what that being experiences at death, as in life! If a certain being expects to go to heaven after dying, that is what they will experience. If a being expects to be reborn, they will experience that reality. Persons also are influenced by the emotions and expectations of others. Subconscious expectations which oppose what they prefer, or doubts about what they prefer can make the transition through death very difficult. Someone not wanting them to go, or grieving about the loss may also make it difficult. It is most valuable and helpful to a being who is dying to allow them to go when they want to go, and to encourage them in their expectations and desires for the life beyond transition. Above all, they should be assured that they will not be causing difficulties for others by going, so that they don't feel that it is wrong to go. Love and reassurance make the passage easier. Because death is the cessation of physical feeling, the withdrawal of the consciousness which is focused through a body, it is not difficult for a caring person nearby to feel when that withdrawal occurs. Sudden death of a person leaves and unexpected hole in the lives of others. Aspects of life that are planned and expected that involve the other appear broken. Behaviours, once normal and routine, now seem out of place. (I still put the scraps down for the dog sometimes and it is years since she died) Communication begins and you realize they are not there to receive it. They are no longer physically here but sometimes you can become aware of them and some people feel they are still in communication with the person who has gone from the physical realm. They are in another level of experience and it is perhaps very peaceful and beautiful. You are still here with an absence of things that regularly took place. Feel the absence. It is there. But also decide that you are going to create other things in your life. Soon you will begin to do so and the hole will be gone and only the pleasant memories remain. An example of such a fearful experience would be an operation. Sit quietly, and 2. Stop the movie at the present moment. Ask yourself Now 6. Play a third movie in which something even worse than that happens. And 8. Play the movie that contained your fear, again. Now Then These movies are the possible futures which you could have. 11. Choose a future from the movies that you have created. If you think about another future you'd rather have while you are following this process, just play it through like the above movies before making your choice. 12. Go back to where you stopped the movie of your life, and 14. Step back from your imagination into reality. If there is still fear, it is from a different cause. Locate this one, and handle it in the same way. Hold a tree. Feel its texture. Look at its colours. Listen to its sound. Smell it. Let go of the tree. Repeat all the above. Feel the tree with different parts of your body. Imagine you are the tree, and feel your solidity. Feel your roots going into the earth and your branches reaching to the sky. Feel the sap running in your cells, the wind in your leaves and the birds in your branches. Feel your own body, and imagine the tree feeling you. Hold the tree. Sometimes these are hard to identify--you think you feel. Sometimes not feeling is sensed as an awareness of lack or of hollowness. There are a lot of suppressed feelings around! To begin to contact these, start from your earliest childhood memories. 1. Write down a list of the feelings you remember that you have had. 2. Write the feelings that you think you might have had if you had allowed yourself to express them. 3. Be aware of times when you felt proud to have controlled your feelings by not feeling them. 4. What did you do to suppress each feeling? How would it have felt if you hadn't suppressed it? 5. Feel the feeling or imagine you can feel it. (If you would rather not do this in writing, you could tell all this to a trusted, empathic friend. Maybe you could both do it for each other.) 6. Locate current feelings which you don't want to express and write down without any critical thought or attention to grammar, punctuation or spelling, exactly how you see it to be and how you think about not expressing them. 7. Name all those feelings. 8. With each feeling that you know or suspect is being suppressed ask the following questions replacing the feeling used as an example with one you have named. Q. How does it feel to be ..........(angry)? Q. How does it feel to be ..............(stupid)? Q. How does it feel to be ...............(more
angry)? Q. How does it feel to be ..................(hurt)? . . . . and so on. Keep asking "How does it feel" until you are actually feeling how it feels. If there is difficulty ask "If this was another person, how would I imagine they would feel?" When you find you are feeling an emotion--Consciously create it and feel it more. Enjoy the experience of feeling. Most people forgive most others. Many people who can forgive others cannot forgive themselves. What is forgiveness? It is accepting that something has happened that you would have preferred did not happen or it is accepting that something did not happen that you would have chosen to happen. The time in which these happenings should have happened or should not have happened is past. That time no longer exists. Have you ever changed the past by continuing to want it to be different? Has anyone? Has anyone changed the present or the future by wanting to change the past? When you say that you find it hard to forgive you maybe saying that you did not approve and you are therefore going to make your feeling of disapproval continue in present time. It is only the feeling that you can keep in present time. Maybe you want to punish someone or maybe you want revenge. This is causing more unpleasant feelings for you to feel. You can have them exist in the present and even into the future. It is a matter of choice.
1. Hold a piece of paper in two fingers. 2. Now decide to let go. Did you? 3. Hold a feeling. 4. Feel that feeling as much as you can. 5. Decide to let it go. Now let it go. Did you? If there is any of that feeling left keep repeating 3, 4 & 5 until you let it all go. Forgiveness is letting the past be the past and creating the present which you prefer, now. What you create in the present creates your future. If you now can forgive others but are still beating up on yourself have a look at the idea of being fair. Would the person you admire most forgive one person and not the other? Your universe is being created by aspects of yourself . Accept yourself. When you can truly accept yourself there will not be the need to forgive. Be willing to experience the grief. Do not fight it. Really feel the grief. This natural human emotion will evolve into another emotion when it is allowed to flow. The flow will be inhibited if you feed the grief. This is often done by feeling self-pity, and not recognizing that it is a different feeling. (If you find you are feeling sorry for yourself, decide whether you actually want to do that. If so, set yourself a time limit for self-pity e.g. 20 minutes, and when that time is up, choose to feel otherwise.)
Once you have the grief flowing 2. Put it into imaginary containers 3. Turn it all into bright sparkling light and pour it into your self Guilt is anger that you feel you have no right to have. Guilt is of no benefit to anyone.
Find the guilt. As best you can, be the person you were at the time you felt the guilt. Ask, 4. Feel the anger; really feel it. 5. Create all the anger that you did not feel at the time. Feel it. You may, at first, feel anger as grief or frustration or annoyance or any other feeling. If you do feel any other feeling feel it and keep feeling it, consciously, until you can feel the anger beneath it. 6. Feel the anger 7. Say all the things that go with those feelings especially those things that you did not say at the time. Say it aloud if you can. 8. Imagine any other person who was involved answering you just as you would wish them to do so. 9. Forgive everyone involved. You may find so much anger that you will need to handle it as in "unwanted emotion". Headaches have a variety of causes. Some of them are physical, as when you damage your neck or back alignment, or when your posture ensures that nerves are constantly being pinched. There will even be a some relief for these headaches from the following.
1. Locate where you consider the pain is. 2. Feel it. 3. Describe how it feels. 4. Describe the actual size of the pain in, or on, the head. 5. Locate the centre of the pain. 6. Move the centre at least 1 cm in the direction that you feel will be easiest. 7. Move it in another direction. 8. Continue doing this until you feel you can move it, little by little, to the edge of, and then away from your head.
Steps: 1. Locate the pain as above 2. Perceive its colour. You may see, sense, feel, or just know it. Some people can perceive its tone, as a sound, more easily. If you prefer, identify it that way. 3. Make it lighter in colour (or higher in pitch). 4. Locate exactly where it is again, and make it even lighter. 5. Do this until it is white. When it becomes white, the headache goes. If you are perceiving it as sound,
A. 1. Hold your hand on the surface (or above the surface--you choose) of the head, near the pain. Imagine your hand as the source of bright white light. 2. Imagine the white light being poured into your head by your higher self.
Imagine a beam of bright, white light coming in to the top of your head from an infinite source, and flood your head with it.
Decide to feel that pain as intensely as you can. Create it as intensely as you can. Feel it as intensely as you can. When you cease to resist the pain it can go. Steps: 1. Stop. Stop everything you are doing. Stop thinking. Ask yourself, 3. Write what it is that you are saving all this time for. Don't just read this and think the answer. Sit down and answer it fully. Now The only time at which YOU actually experience your life is right NOW.
When you are hurried you are concerned with the amount of "doing" you are doing, and you want to do it all right now. In twenty years from now, what will you have achieved by trying to do it all at once apart from feeling stressed and anxious about time? Wouldn't you rather choose your feelings and experiences? Wouldn't you rather HAVE time? You are the only one who can create YOUR time. NOW Steps: 1. Are you sorry? If so, allow yourself to feel the sorrow. Do not justify or excuse, just feel the sorrow. 2. Are you ashamed? Realize that the shame is a result of treatment you have received, but under it is real sorrow. Feel it. 3. Are you blaming someone? Realize that what you are blaming another for is something that is hidden within you. You may indeed be genuinely sorry, with no clutter of the above feelings. If so: After you have let yourself experience the remorse, if it is possible: If it is not possible, Firstly, feel the pain. Write it out as fully as you can. Find what you expected to happen that didn't, and/or what you didn't expect to happen that did! The feeling of hurt comes from a perceived separation from love. It comes from expecting something which you felt was a need or a want, and it was not given. It comes from expecting another to be, or to feel, or to do in a certain way toward you, and having them be different from your expectations. It feels like a break in trust. It feels like a fracturing of self esteem and self love. At root, it is a break or interruption in your agreement about how things are, a break in communication, or a break in the closeness that you felt with someone. It is the suddenness or the unexpectedness that actually produces the hurt. Realizing fully what the break was, that it was a fracturing of agreement, of communication or of closeness with someone can miraculously restore your clarity about your actual condition. Steps Ask: Ask yourself whether there was an earlier time that you experienced a similar hurt. If you find one, feel the pain of the experience, write it down, and identify it as above. The resulting clarity is greatest when you have found the earliest example of a particular kind of break. Jealousy hurts. Jealousy is the belief that there is not enough to go around and that you are the one who is going to miss out. It's seeds are planted in early childhood. It develops and grows in atmospheres of competition and scarcity. Feel what you are really feeling when you are jealous and you will feel the feeling of competing for something that you consider is scarce. Sometimes it is the real or imagined scarcity of love or attention that you are competing for. Sometimes it is felt as the effort to fight others for what is wanted. Sometimes one gives up and sulks. This proves once again to you that there is not enough for you to have. Actually the basis of all jealousies is love. In many cases when one is jealous of another this other has things that one wants. That which one wants most is love. Realize that in reality there is an abundance of things and that you are equally worthy of them and that all that stops you is the belief that you can't have them. You feel unloved. In some cases you are jealous of someone's love and see that they are the only person with all the beauty and wonder and goodness etc. and that you desire them. You may not believe what I am saying at first but everything that you admire in that other is yours already. It is part of you. It has become hidden from you and because you do not see it in yourself you see it in the other. This includes the love which you want. Do you really love yourself enough to be able to love that other? Give freely to another or others of your time and in any other way that you can. Write a letter. Give a smile. Give understanding. Give a flower. Give with the thought of creating pleasure without a thought of getting in return. Feels as though everything is gone? Feels like an enormous emptiness? 1. Tell a friend, or write down: 2. Feel the emotions that come to you. Let them flow, i.e. do not stop them or judge them or analyze them, etc. 3. Write about all the similar losses you know about, whether they be yours or someone else's. 4. Feel the feelings that are there. Now, 6. Feel what it all feels like. How do you wish to feel in the future? 8. Feel it. 9. How could you create the future containing those feelings? 10. Take the first step. You may need follow-up counseling, but this will help you over the worst of it. Sometimes people have beliefs about themselves, that cause them to miss out on self-love. A healthy amount of self-love is essential for the flow of love, both towards us, and out from us. If you feel a welling-up of love, and you believe there's no-one who could receive it, 1. Imagine yourself in a circle of flowing energy. 2. You flow love out and around the circle and simultaneously feel the flow of love coming in to you. Do this at least twice a day. This can be a devastating feeling that prevents you from doing anything in life. There are causes, which need professional help to resolve. As a first aid, Ask yourself, Realize that good and bad are as you see good and bad. 2. Are you trying to mould yourself according to someone else's standard of acceptability? 3. When was the earliest time you did that? We will handle the feeling, for the feeling is yours, the judgment may not be. Steps: 1. Create all the feelings that go with not good enough. 2. Create them as intensely as you can. 3. Put all the feelings that you can find that go with "not good enough" into a container labeled with the words "not good enough." 4. Change them into bright, sparkling white light. This light now represents "being as good as you choose." Pour this light into you, and feel the difference!
You are, or someone else is, in the middle of such a big problem that nothing else seems to exist. It is so big that it is all that they can see--and they see it, of course, from the inside. Ask Now ask They may say that nothing could be worse. Ask them to 4. Get an answer. 5. Acknowledge and accept the answer. Ask again 7. Repeat this question, getting different answers. Now, it can be handled. If you feel smaller than a pebble, it becomes a mountain. It is much easier to handle a pebble than a mountain.
You could ask for solutions to be created for each of the problems that are worse than the one being experienced. You have tried and cannot find a solution to the problem. Steps 1. Imagine that everything in the world has stopped. 2. Imagine that you are floating above it all, and see the whole situation as though it were a Television soap opera. 3. Visualize all that is making things difficult for you--seeing yourself as a character in the drama. 4. Create as many more difficulties for the "you" character as you can. Let them be unsolved, and the character being completely overwhelmed. Now, 6. Invent solutions for these difficulties, telling the suffering character what he or she should do. See them following your instructions, and observe the difficulties being overcome. 7. Become the "you" character once more, and realize that you have just been a solver of difficulties. 8. Come back to earth from your viewing place, bringing with you the ability to change things and to solve problems and to resolve difficulties. It appears that you are being sabotaged and that your experiences are being created by a malevolent source. This can be true. The way to handle it is not: Step aside and allow the energy from that other to go past you. Allow it to be their energy. If you do nothing at all but realise that there is some energy there, to accept or reject, it will not affect you. If it does still affect you there is something else that is happening here. It means that you already have within you some of what you are receiving from the other. This allows it to reach you. You attract it! These things within you could be beliefs which allow it to be as it is [such as those of deserving it] or more often, YOU have caused another to experience what you are now experiencing.
1. Feel the feelings that you are receiving. 2. Ask yourself ìWhen have I caused another to feel exactly as I now feel?î 3. Feel the feelings that you caused. 4. Get as many other times as you can when you caused others to feel those feelings. 5. Feel the feelings that you caused. Feel them as intensely as you can. 6. Know you are responsible for causing them. [owning them is the only way to control them] 7. Let them go! Another way of saying this is forgive yourself. 8. As you do the above, know that you will change, i.e., you won't create those feelings for others any more. This should remove that which allows you to receive the Psychic attack. If not you have missed something so do it all again as thoroughly as you can. 1. Look at what you have done. Really acknowledge it to yourself. Do not make excuses or justifications--these only make you feel worse. 2. How do you judge yourself for behaving in this way? How do you regard or judge anyone else who has done the same thing? 3. Forgive all others that you have judged. When you have done that, you will be able to forgive yourself. 4. Decide to change. Revenge is an attempt to show how displeased or angry you are because of something that another has done. You consider that they have harmed you. You do not know how to express your anger nor how to 'make right' the hurt you feel. If you consider that you will feel better once the other person shares your anger and hurt and therefore plan to cause them to share it by doing something that angers and hurts them you are then creating two lots of anger and hurt. You will each have two lots of it then. Because ALL of the anger and hurt that you give and receive is stored in your conscious and/or subconscious memory. It may also be stored by the other person in their memory. Do your really enjoy anger and hurt so much as to create it and to store it in your reality? If you did you would welcome that which you have received. As you say you don't welcome it then do not create more. You will be affected by what you create. Handle your anger as explained elsewhere in this book and handle your hurt as explained in "Unwanted Emotions." If you are lost in self-pity, Ask yourself Then ask, Ask Then ask, Just let answers come. It may surprise you. Now, ask yourself If your answer is "No," If you are trying to punish someone, When these things have been resolved, 9. Transform the feeling of self-pity into the anger that you did not acknowledge, and feel it. If you don't want this anger, When you have not been allowed to feel real sorrow, or have not allowed yourself to feel real sorrow, the resulting sham of an emotion is shame. Shame and guilt are not normal human emotions. Shame has no source within you--it is something that has been dumped on you. Do not confuse shame with the powerful energy of remorse. The only first aid of which I am aware is to realize that shame is something that has been caused by another, or others. It can be ended. See a practitioner for a course in ending shame. If the sickness of another causes you worry and fear you can become weak and ineffective. No-one is helped in this way. What people create is what exists. If you are happy and I am happy we have two lots of happiness. That seems OK. If I am unhappy and you become unhappy then we have two lots of unhappiness. That does not seem so good. It will not create happiness for anyone. If someone is sick, and you put your attention on the sickness, there are two lots of sickness. So the first thing to do is take your attention off how sick they are, and put all your attention on future health. If there is something constructive you can do, then do it. Sympathy is sharing sadness. It makes more sadness. Understanding what is happening for the other and quietly being supportive with calm thoughts gives strength and aids healing. 1. Focus on the person and imagine you are flowing white light into their body. Imagine it flowing especially into areas that need healing. If you can be with the person, Do not feel any feeling that you do not wish to create for them whilst doing this. Positive thoughts of peace and joy and love can help them to heal. There is some danger, sitting in front of the TELEVISION for any length of time. You get mainly the unpleasant aspects of life presented as "news", as certain current affairs programs, in police shows, and the like. As you sit watching this unpleasant material, you may have sympathy, anger and other emotions stimulated. You may also blame people for some of what you see. This can make you very unhappy, frustrated, angry and feel you are powerless. Realize that although you are big enough, powerful enough to control your TELEVISION set, you do not have the power to make the whole world right for those suffering on your TELEVISION. Now, realize that you are part of it all. You are a part of the ALL, and you are connected to every part that comes to your attention. Because you are connected, you can help. You can change all that is wrong with the world as it appears to you in your consciousness. It is the aggregate of the (greed, for example) of all of us that creates all the greed that is in the world. So as we reduce our own conscious and subconscious level of greed, that is not just one less greedy person, it is less greed in the entire world. (The power and importance of this simple principle is amazing.) 1. Write down everything you can find that is wrong with the world, and the beliefs that might have caused each wrong thing. 2. Preface each belief with "I." 3. Write the positive belief alongside. You will have a list like:
4. Realize that you are programmed with both these opposites, and that your negative side has been hidden. This will already produce some relief. You can clear these negative beliefs completely if you wish. Firstly relax and go deep within. Close your eyes when allowing the subconscious to present you with its material. 5. Go to the earliest time you formed the belief............. (I am cruel). With the thought of being there your subconscious IS there you do not have to DO anything 6. Create the feelings that go with that belief. Create them intensely. Create them as intensely as you can, and bring them to a peak of intensity. When you get them to a peak, they will flow. 7. Put them into a container, and see the words e.g. (I am cruel) going into the container. 8. When all the feelings and the words of the belief are in the container, put the lid on, and put it out of your universe. 9. Create the positive belief for yourself, and create the feelings that go with that belief. As you do so, see yourself writing that belief. 10. Repeat the process for each negative belief you have found. When you have replaced each with its positive equivalent, conclude the exercise with "the 33 second technique".
Several extreme feelings can bring one to contemplate suicide. Is it the feeling of hopelessness, feeling it's all bad, you can't see the way out? Is it the feeling of revenge which you must express by making them sorry for what they have done, or not done, to you? Is it a feeling of unforgivable guilt that will not release? Is it a problem or sense of loss too great to bear? Your life is your own, and you are free to live it or to not live it. Before you decide to live or not to live, you will need to decide what comes next, either in life or in death. Will the feelings that you feel continue after death? Some research indicates that they are continued, or replayed in some way, if they are not resolved now. It would be safer to realize what is causing you to feel this way. Programming that you cannot see is creating a lens through which you only see what it allows you to see. Programming is also attracting, like a magnet, into your field of experience, situations, people and feelings that are unwanted. Programming determines your opinion of others and your opinion of yourself. THIS PROGRAMMING CAN BE CHANGED. IT CAN BE REMOVED. YOU CAN CHANGE WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT INTO WHAT YOU DO WANT. 1. Begin listing all that you are blaming others for. 2. Then, write what you are blaming the world for. 3. Then what you are blaming yourself for. 4. When you have done all this listing, as fully as you can, write "I" in front of each item. You have written down an accurate indication of your inner programming that is causing whatever you are feeling--and all your present experience. That list does not describe the "you" that you wish to be, does it? A far more desirable "you" is described by writing the opposite of the items on the list. Write them: e.g. I am ugly . . . . . . . . I am beautiful The item on the right is the you that you are without the negative programming. The negative programming can be changed, and as a direct result, your life will change beyond belief. See the section on "Belief Changing" at the end. Your problem is NOT "not enough time". It cannot be, because all the time you experience is the time that you create. You create time by causing or allowing things to change. If nothing and I mean nothing ever changed for you, you would have no concept of time at all. It would all be the same. Nothing would ever happen. It is your ability to decide upon the rate at which change occurs in relation to yourself that determines whether or not you have enough time. When you feel that you do not have enough time, have a look at what is happening. Steps.: 1. Are you trying to stop something from changing? 2. Are you trying to force something to change? 3. Are you allowing someone or something other than you to decide what you do and when you do it? When you have decided which of these it is 5. Do it, and allow the changes that you choose. Hidden limiting beliefs may be affecting your time. Beliefs which affect change affect your ability to have time, particularly those that enforce or inhibit change. So, you see, hours don't really measure time. They are a convenience (sometimes!) for coordinating events, just as latitude and longitude co-ordinate and compare your position on the earth. Some people are always "getting into trouble". Ask yourself, Then ask yourself, 3. Decide whether it is best to run or to fight. Which has more chance of success in the immediate future? OR If the source of your trouble is approachable Remember, this is FIRST aid, and there are other things that can be done. 1. Find something beautiful, particularly something that is alive--a plant or an animal. 2. Focus all your attention on what you have chosen as beautiful, and really feel the beauty. When you have felt it as intensely as you can, 4. Imagine that energy flowing to you. 5. Imagine you can create white, sparkling energy, and flow it towards the beautiful thing you are focused on. This energy exchange which you can feel IS LOVE. You can create it at will, any time you wish. All the love you feel is the very love that you have created. It is nice to flow it to others and have it flowed to you but you must be able to create it first.
1. Form a question that can be answered with a YES or a NO. 2. Relax as completely as you can. 3. Imagine your higher self, or Someone more than you, and ask the question of them. The answer will be there immediately. 4. Accept the answer you get. If you try to think instead of listen to the answer you may not "hear" it. It would be like asking someone a question and then continuing to talk as they answered it. The answer you get will be the right answer for you at the moment of asking. 4. When you are quite practiced with the yes and no answers, you can try for others. Remember that common usage of language can be imprecise. Make sure you form your question in such a way that it says what you mean, and it can be precisely answered. Happiness is not necessarily dependent upon outside happenings. You can make it dependent upon outside happenings if you choose to do so. Some people choose to do so without being aware that they are making that choice. 1. Think of something that you choose to like or look at something that you could choose to like. It may be a colour, a shape, an object, an emptiness or a fullness of something; anything that pleases you. 2. Now, with your attention on what you have chosen, feel what it would feel like to be happy. When you are focusing on the things that you do not want or when you are focusing on what you do not have you find it difficult to create the feeling of happiness. So your unhappiness can be changed by changing that upon which you are focusing and by creating the feeling that you know is happiness. Your problem is not unhappiness it is the problem of making your life as you choose it to be. You life can be as you consciously choose when you remove the limiting beliefs which are affecting your choices from the subconscious. 1. Imagine that you are surrounded by containers. 2. Look at the unwanted emotion--like fear, hate, anger, grief, or even something that you are feeling that hasn't a name. 3. Let yourself feel it. 4. Create it, and feel it intensely. 5. Feel it as intensely as you possibly can. 6. Put it in a container. 7. Look for more of that same unwanted emotion that may still be there, and follow the same process of feeling it intensely and then putting it into a container. 8. As you create the feeling, words, ideas and images may come. Put these into the container too. 9. When it is all put into containers, and you cannot find any more, imagine that you are much bigger than your body. Imagine that you are your own Higher Self, and magically turn all the contents of the containers into bright, joyously sparkling white light. See it sparkle! 10. Pour all that sparkling white light into yourself. Let the brightness and joy fill every cell of your body. If you are taking someone else through this process, you will feel the light. Do not hurry. Take all the time you like. Enjoy the whole experience to the full. 1. Write down everything that is wrong about that person. Write down what they are being that is wrong, what they are doing that is wrong, and what they are having that is wrong. 2. Next, write down why each thing is wrong. Imagine telling them all this or even pretend they are with you and say it aloud. 3. Now, write down what you think they would write and say about you, if they were the ones doing the above exercise. 4. Write down how it feels for you to be right in relation to all this wrongness. 5. Write down how it feels for the other person to be wrong. 6. Write down how it feels for you to be wrong in relation to this person. 7. Write down how it feels for the other to be right in relation to you. Have you noticed that there is a difference in viewpoint of what is right and what is wrong? An upset is caused by a difference in viewpoint occurring, after you thought that there was an agreement. Sometimes this upset occurs because the agreement had never actually been there. This can occur when one person tries to force their opinion on another. Sometimes, one or both people might suddenly completely refuse to see that the other is different, (and that it is OK to be different), and sometimes it is the sudden realization of a difference which had not been seen before. Right and wrong are viewpoints. An upset occurs when there is a sudden change in what one or both had previously seen as similarity or difference. "One of us must be right," you say. Of course! You are both right. You have different points of view. We are always right until we see for ourselves that something is more right for us.
The following techniques are given in the briefest form. There is a course available to teach these techniques and there is a book which outlines them for you in much greater detail FINDING BELIEFS TO CHANGE BELIEF CHANGING TECHNIQUE To use Solo In some of the first aid sections, exercises to help find particular beliefs were outlined. You may have reached this section and have found no beliefs to practice with. There are many ways of locating the hidden limiting negative beliefs. Here is one way. Whatever one blames another or others for is a hidden limiting belief in oneself. If you are a parent you will find plenty in what you blame your children for, especially when you are stressed or frustrated. We pass them down from parent to child. If you write them down and change them in you, you benefit all generations. Write them as belonging to "I." Six to eight are enough for your first session. e.g. I am naughty then work out the preferred belief by having it as near as possible the opposite of the unwanted one (without using negatives). e.g. I am naughty - I am good now Now you have a list. You can have someone change them for you or do it yourself. This technique is from Mark Jones' book Realizing Our Dreams. I have put it into my words. I will assume in giving the procedure that you are using this technique on someone else and then tell you about doing it solo.
Have a list of beliefs that are to be changed with those that they are to be changed to written opposite them. Alcohol within 24 hours and drugs within one week make this technique very difficult. It may not be possible to use it. If you need to have a first aid session and you have taken drugs or alcohol within these time periods you may need to repeat the session later. Make sure you have drunk enough water. Make sure that you will not be interrupted--put a do-not-disturb sign on door, take phone off hook, etc. The person doing the session makes sure the person having the session is relaxed by using a guided meditation. Use the one following (or one you are already familiar with): Lie or sit in a position in which you can relax completely without going to sleep. "Let the body cells relax. They know how to relax. Let them relax with the thought of doing so. Start with your feet. Let them relax. Let go. Now let your ankles relax and as they relax, relax the calves of your legs. As you let the relaxation flow into your knees allow any suppressed anger or resentment flow away from you. Let your knees relax. Let your thighs relax and let your pelvic area relax. Let the organs there relax with the thought of them doing so. Let your abdomen relax and let its organs relax. Let you chest relax. As you let your lungs relax they will breathe more evenly and deeply and as your heart relaxes it will beat strongly and rhythmically. Now let your shoulders relax. Let the relaxation flow down your arms and let your hands relax and let each finger relax. Let the relaxation start again in the shoulders and this time move down the spine till it is completely relaxed. Feel the relaxation again in the shoulders and now let it move upward and relax the neck-front and back. Let your head relax. Feel each of the many muscles of your scalp relax. Let your jaw relax, let you mouth relax top lip and bottom lip, and now your cheeks and your nose forehead eyebrows and then your eyes and eye lids. Let go and let it all relax. As I count from 5 to 1 allow your self to drift into a deeper state of relaxation; a deeper state of consciousness. Five . . . . four . . . . three . . . . . two . . . . . one(said slowly). Imagine you are in a place where you can enter the earth, through a cave and a tunnel or down a staircase in and old mansion or into an opening in the trunk of an old tree or any other way that you choose. Enter the earth and go deeper within, deeper, deeper. Feel the safety as you go deeper within. You come out into a large cavern where everything you have ever owned is stored and you see it all covered in dust. On the other side of that cavern is and old person with white hair. This is your helper. Go to your helper and ask, "Which is the way to the room of beliefs?" Your helper points down the passage and you see light coming from under a door. You thank your helper before moving down to the door. You see written on it "Room of Beliefs." You open it and go inside. You are in a brilliantly lit room. There is a table on one end of the table is a brass container with a flame in it and there are pens pencils small cards and on the other end a large book. You go over to the book and see written on it in gold, "My Beliefs." 1. Open the book. You see written there ............................... (here you read, clearly, the first of the beliefs to be changed) (You now command the subconscious mind and it will obey instantly:) 3. Create the feelings that go with the belief ............................. (say the belief allow enough time to do this) Feel them. 4. Create those feelings more. Feel them more. 5. Create them as intensely as you can. 6. When you have created them as intensely as you can put all the feeling energy in the container. (allow sufficient time) 7. Write VOID across the page. (Make sure you both know the meaning of the word 'void' before the session) 8. Tear it out. Scrunch it up and throw it into the container and watch it
all go up in smoke until it is all gone. 9. On the clean page that is now in front of you write ........................................ (here you read out the positive belief slowly--at writing speed) 10. Create the state of consciousness that goes with the belief ................................... (say the belief) 11. Feel all the feelings you choose to have that go with the belief ...................................... (say the belief and allow enough time for it to be done) 12. Pick up a small card and write on it .......................... (say the belief at writing speed) 13. Keep creating those good feelings as you put the card in your pocket. 14. Turn the page. It says ............................ (say the next belief to be changed) Continue changing the beliefs you have listed using steps 2 to 14 until they are all changed. 15. I am going to bring you back and you will open your eyes on the count of five and not before. One, coming back bringing with you all the feelings that go with ..................................... (read each of the new beliefs) Two, coming up coming back, three, four and five. Open you eyes. You may need to gently help the person orient by saying "Notice the wall." "Notice the floor." "Feel the air on your body" etc., giving as much time as they need to do each of these. You will notice when they are fully with you.
Do this at least once a day and you will find things changing. The above technique can be used solo but needs to be learned first so that you do not have to think about or read the steps. You can learn by practicing. Practice on a toy an animal or if you have someone who is interested, on another person. Once you are familiar with the technique you can do it for yourself just as you do for the other person. You may tell yourself what to do either aloud or silently. You will soon be able to open your eyes to see the beliefs on the list without coming out of the meditative state. Alternatively you can tape the session for yourself and then go through it with your finger on the pause button of the player to give you time to do each step. It would make it easier to begin with a session with a trained person either before you begin or after you have learned the technique. |
